Christmas 2016 – Homily

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Christmas 2016 – Mass During the Night
Isaiah 9:1-6
Psalm 96:1-2, 2-3, 11-12, 13
Titus 2:11-14
Luke 2:1-14
December 25, 2016

We are here to celebrate something very holy.  We began with a song familiar to many, O Come All Ye Faithful.  It is my favorite Christmas hymn.

As we gather with so many people coming for our Christmas Masses, we are glad to see so many people hear the call of O Come All Ye Faithful.  Whether you are a regular here, visiting from out of town, are here for the first time, or are returning after a long time, we are glad you have joined us as we celebrate this holy night.

What we celebrate, of course, is Christmas.  Many, many people will celebrate this day with parties, dinners, and gifts.  All of those can be good ways of coming together for Christmas.

We gather here now to celebrate Mass as our way of recognizing how special Christmas is for us and why it is special.

Christmas is special because, as the angel said to the shepherds, “For today in the city of David a savior has been born for you who is Christ and Lord.”

Our gospel tells the story of Jesus’ birth.  When we read the whole story in the gospels, we see how Jesus truly is the fulfillment of what God has planned all along.  Jesus is the promised messiah, a son of David, and Son of God.

In the story of Jesus’ birth, we hear that Jesus was not born in a palace like one might expect of a king.  Jesus was born in a stable, no crib for a babe.  Why?  To show that He is not some distant king but someone who has shared the same experiences as we.

He is wrapped in swaddling clothes as a sign of humility, that He comes to share in our humanity.

That’s why we have our nativity scene both outside and here to your right side, to remember that Jesus came for all of us, not just the elite.  That’s why the first people to hear of Jesus’ birth were shepherds.  While farmers are very, very important, shepherds would have been considered as nobodies but God shows us that everyone is special to him.

At the center of the nativity scene is baby Jesus.  We look at baby Jesus and see a God who loves us so much to come to be with us to show us the way to the Father.  Just as baby Jesus lies in the center of the nativity scene, Jesus should be in the center of our lives.

We do have other decorations that are not up just up to make the church look nice.  They do look wonderful and we are very thankful for the people who gave of their time to decorate our church for us.

We need to look at the decorations as more than just “decorations.”  They are symbols of our faith.

Christmas trees are a sign of what Jesus comes to offer us.  The trees are “evergreen” trees as a sign of everlasting life and they point us to Heaven.

The lights on the trees (as well as our candles) are a reminder to us of how Jesus is the light of the world, bringing us light and hope in a world where there is dark and gloom.

The wreaths by the windows are also evergreens, again reminding us of everlasting life.  I just read recently that the wreaths’ shape was originally designed to remind us of the crown of thorns that Jesus wore when he suffered for us.  I also see in the circle no end, just as there is no end to God’s love for us.

Just as our decorations remind us of what Christmas is really about, so too does our music remind us of what Christmas offers us, joy and hope.

As we sing in O Come All Ye Faithful, we come to adore Christ in the manger.  We come joyful and triumphant recognize that Jesus is triumphant over death and our sins.  So we come to celebrate.

It is good that Jesus is born as our savior.  We can walk in darkness through a land of gloom.  We know there are bad things that happen in the world but today we also know there is hope, there is joy.  So we celebrate with joy and will go out into the world to continue to celebrate.

I’ve spoke of our decorations here in your church.  You probably have similar decorations at home.  As you have your Christmas celebrations, remember what the decorations symbolize, remember what the Christmas hymns tell us, and remember that today in the city of David a savior has been born for you who is Christ and Lord.

4th Sunday in Advent, Year A – Homily

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4th Sunday in Advent, Year A
Isaiah 7:10-14
Psalm 24:1-2, 3-4, 5-6 (7c, 10b)
Romans 1:1-7
Matthew 1:18-24
December 18, 2016

Isaiah offers a sign to King Ahaz but the king refuses.  He tries to make his refusal look noble by saying, “I will not ask, I will not tempt the Lord!” but what is really going on is that Ahaz thinks he can do it all himself.  He has formed human alliances that he thinks will make him look great but he is wrong.  Israel will fall.

Even though Ahaz refuses to ask for a sign, Isaiah still tells of the sign that the Lord will offer, “the virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall name him Emmanuel.”  The name “Emmanuel” means “God is with us.”

Ultimately, as Christians, we know this prophecy to be fulfilled in Mary’s giving birth to Jesus.  Ahaz would not let the Lord enter so he would have the glory of the kingship for himself.  Mary, on the other hand, responded to God with, “Behold I am the handmaid of the Lord, may be done to me according to your word.”

That is where we are at now.  Mary is pregnant.  In fact, with one week to go till Christmas, Mary is “very pregnant.”  Mary rejoiced that she had been chosen to be the mother of Jesus.  She accepted the gift of life in her womb.

However, Joseph was greatly troubled by Mary’s pregnancy.  He knew he was not the father.  To him, this had to mean that Mary had been unfaithful.  Joseph was a righteous man and was troubled as to what to do.  Jewish law would have allowed him to have her stoned but he knew he didn’t want to do that.  So, he made plans to “divorce her quietly.”

That was not what God wanted.  So God sent an angel to speak to Joseph in a dream to tell him, “Do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home.”  The angel told Joseph that Mary had conceived “through the Holy Spirit” and how this fulfilled the prophecy we heard in our first reading.

This was enough for Joseph.  As a righteous man, his greatest desire was to follow God’s Will.  So he did as the angel had directed and took Mary into his home and they raised Jesus together.  Now, both Mary and Joseph had said yes to the gift of life in Mary’s womb.

It wasn’t going to be an easy life.  We will hear next week at Christmas how Jesus was born and laid in a manger.  The Holy Family will have to flee to Egypt.  Mary will be at the foot of the Cross when Jesus is crucified.

Neither Mary nor Joseph had put any conditions to their “yes.”  They did not demand that raising Jesus be easy.  They simply trusted that God would get them through whatever would happen.

Because they said yes, next week we will look at the baby Jesus in the manger and say “Emmanuel, God is with us.”  For now, the image that might be most fitting is the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe, Mary pregnant.

Seeing Mary pregnant is to be an image of hope for us.  It should stir great anticipation in us of what is to come, new life.

Are you ready for this new life?

One might respond by saying we already have Jesus in our lives so of course we are ready.  True…in Baptism we receive the gift of new life but how much do we let the Lord fully enter into our lives?  Or do we keep him at a distance?  Do we keep God in just one corner of our lives?

I’ve spoken this Advent already of how much time we put into getting ready for our Christmas celebrations compared to how much time we give to God.  So how are you doing?

We look at baby Jesus and we feel joy.  We feel hope.  Why?  Because when we look at Jesus we see the “face of God.”

Some Resources on Apologetics

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I just finished reading two separate books on “Apologetics.”  Before going any further I probably should provide a definition of what “apologetics” is.  Patrick Madrid in his book How to Do Apologetics: Making the Case for Our Faith (Our Sunday Visitor: Huntington, IN. 2016) writes, “Apologetics is a practical way of using logic and facts to help others lift their eyes from base, inconsequential distractions and gaze upward to contemplate the truth in all its beauty” (14).  He goes on to say, “Apologetics accomplishes this task by offering those who will listen rational explanations and defense of the truth, the highest and most important of all including the truths that God exists, He loves you” (14).

To put it in my own words, “apologetics” is not about presuming we are always right and others should take what we say in matters of faith just because we say so.  Apologetics calls us to use logic and reason to show that the teachings of our faith make sense (cf. Madrid, 19).

Madrid goes on in his book to talk about the tools of logic and how they can be used to help reach out to people who do not believe in any notion of God.  This comes in a chapter on “Natural Apologetics”.  He then offers a chapter on “Christian Apologetics” leading to a chapter specific to “Catholic Apologetics” and why we believe in the Real Presence and our understanding of Mary.  In all of this he reminds us, “Don’t allow yourself to slip into the mode of thinking that you are the “orthodoxy police” or imagine it’s your duty to root out theological error wherever you can find it” (57).

As I was saying before, our goal in Apologetics is to help them see that we have sound reasons for our faith.

Madrid offers some good insight into what Apologetics is and how to go about it.  Yet I realize that many of you aren’t looking to be apologists.  You just want to be able to talk with others and answer their questions.

Here I turn to the second book I just read, How to Defend the Faith Without Raising Your Voice: Civic Responses to Catholic Hot-Button Issues (Revised and Updated) by Austen Ivereigh and Kathryn Jean Lopez (Our Sunday Visitor: Huntington, IN. 2015).

They discuss how “The Church’s role in news stories is usually that of an institution that coerces, oppresses, and imposes, while on the other side are ranked the vulnerable individual and victims’ groups of many kinds… Only by reframing can we escape those roles” (20).  Here they offer a method of discussing our faith that is consistent throughout their book.  To “reframe” is to change the perspective at how we look at the issues.  Many people look at what we are against as Catholics.  Ivereigh and Lopez help us to change the discussion to what we are for.  This turns the discussion to a more positive perspective and helps us show what our faith and Catholic Church is all about.

I’m not going to try to summarize their entire book.  Instead, if you are interested in learning more about what our Catholic Church says (and how to share it with others) on sexuality, contraception, religious freedom, marriage, abortion, the sex abuse scandal, assisted suicide, and the role of women, I am going to encourage you to read the book for yourself.

Before concluding I want to share ten principles Ivereigh and Lopez offer on pages 22-26.  What I offer now quotes their lists of the ten principles and their first sentence on each (they offer much more if you read the book):

  1. Don’t get mad.  Reframe.  To recap: Rather than consider the arguments you are going to face, consider the value(s) they appeal to.
  2. Shed light, not heat. The purpose of our communication is illumination.
  3. Think in threes. A time-honored way of preparing for any discussion is to boil your messages down to three key ones.
  4. People don’t remember what you said as much as how you made them feel. The best communication takes place when people feel valued and safe.
  5. Show, don’t tell. This foundational principle of good writing applies to communication generally.
  6. Remember to say “Yes.” This is a baseline communication principle, and doubly important when we are making the Church’s case- as so often in contemporary society – against
  7. Compassion counts.
  8. Numbers aren’t everything. Statistics can appear abstract and inhumane, or a spin.
  9. It’s about witnessing, not winning. People who come to a new way of seeing the world find that a prejudice or preconception is challenged, or even reversed.
  10. It’s not about you. Your fear, self-consciousness, and defensiveness are products of a protesting ego.  Think of John the Baptist – a fearless communicator; his strength came from knowing that he was the door through which others could come to Christ.

I hope this helps you think about what you can do to know and share our faith.  Before concluding I will just point you to two pages on my website:

Peace,

Fr. Jeff

3rd Sunday of Advent, Year A – Homily

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3rd Sunday in Advent, Year A
Isaiah 35:1-6a, 10
Psalm 146:6-7, 8-9, 9-10
James 5:7-10
Matthew 11:2-13
December 11, 2016

“Be patient.”

These are the words of James offers to the recipients of his letter.  What are they to be patient in waiting for?  “The Coming of the Lord.”

The Letter of James is writing sometime in the 1st century following the death of Jesus.  Some of the people reading his letter would have been alive when Jesus lived on Earth as a human being.  Some of them may have even seen Jesus face to face.

With Jesus First Coming still fresh in their minds, they are already waiting in anticipation of his Second Coming.   Yet they have to wait.  Turns out they were not being very patient in their waiting.  Some even fear they missed it for they were sure it would happen very soon.

How good are we at being patient?  I know I like to have things done now so I am not good at waiting.  No matter what we do, sometimes we just have to wait.

Here James uses the example of a farmer.  In the spring, farmers plow their fields and plant seeds.  They can make sure the plants are watered and fertilized but no matter what they do, at some point you have to wait.  No matter what we do, it takes time for the plants to grow so the farmer must wait.

Today, often we want everything now.  Our responsorial verse today is “Lord, come and save us.”  If this was written today one would probably add the word “now”.  Come and save us now.

We might not like to wait but somethings are worth waiting for.  Our first readings for Advent come from Isaiah and many of them involve prophecies of what the Messiah would be like.  Today’s reading says the Lord will come with vindication, meaning He will make things right.  He will open the eyes of the blind, the ears of the deaf should be cleared, and the lame with leap.

Jesus came and fulfilled all this but He didn’t come immediately.  The Jews had to wait several centuries for Jesus to come.  While there were many prophecies about what the Messiah would be like, they did not know when He would come.

Even John the Baptist wasn’t sure exactly when Jesus would come.  Even when Jesus came, John could only hear about him from prison and he wasn’t sure if Jesus was the one so he sent his disciples to ask Jesus if He was “the one who is to come.”

What was Jesus’ response?  It was not yes or no.  He told them to tell John what they have heard and see.  That the “the blind regain their sight, the lame walk….”  Jesus does this to reveal to us who He is.  He fulfills the prophecies.

We are now in the third week of our new liturgical year.  This year we hear predominantly from Matthew’s Gospel on Sundays.  For Matthew, it was very important to make sure that the readers of his gospel understand that Jesus is the fulfillment of the prophecies because this might He is the Messiah they have been waiting for.

It is also important for us to see how Jesus fulfills the messianic prophecies because we have to wait for his coming.  Hearing that these prophecies are fulfilled can give us confidence to be willing to wait.

Yet, many people have given up on waiting and lost the faith.  It seems like, no, it doesn’t seem like, it is a fact that fewer and fewer people are coming to church.  Some of them have rejected the very notion that there is a god.  Some say they believe but they don’t need to come to church.  Some just do what I did for years, just fade away.

I don’t know about you but I know I need to come.  I need to hear reassurances that God loves me.  I need to hear the stories of how even when people suffered, God was with them.

In two weeks we will celebrate Christmas.  I’m sure there are some here today who can’t wait for it to get here.  Many, many people will celebrate Christmas.  I wonder how many of them have no idea what Christmas is about.  I even wonder among believers how many will talk about the real meaning of Christmas.

I mentioned before some of the prophecies that Jesus fulfilled.  There is one more I want to mention that He includes in what He says to John’s disciples, “and the poor have the good news proclaimed to them.”

Jesus came and proclaimed the good news to the people.  Today we need to share the good news.  We need to talk about our faith.  I’m sure some of you are thinking, “I don’t know how to talk about our faith.”  I understand but I offer a response in two parts.  First, we need to put some effort into learning more about our faith.  Secondly, we learn by doing.  We can learn how to talk about our faith by doing it.  It all begins by you sharing with others what Christmas means to you.

I know you may have family or friends who will tell you they don’t want to hear about it.  Now, the goal is not to force faith upon them but here are some simple places to start.

  • When making your Christmas plans, make sure they know you want to get to church for Christmas Mass.
  • Offer to say grace before the meal and mention in the prayer that you are glad we can celebrate Jesus’ birth.
  • Invite your family and friends to church

On a related note, when you come for Christmas Mass and you see someone here that hasn’t been here in a long time, welcome them here.  If you see a stranger, tell them you are glad they are here.  Tell them that Jesus loves them.

The Sacrament of Reconciliation

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Today we have our Advent Penance Service that includes First Penance for some of our children.  Below I share my homily with you to encourage you to think about what the Sacrament of Reconciliation means.  You will find a link to further resources at the end.

Colossians 1:12-13
Psalm 51 (sung)
Luke 15:1-7
December 10, 2016

Today we are here to celebrate our Advent Penance Service.  We are blessed to have a total of four priests here so that everyone can have an opportunity for individual confessions after our service.

I say blessed because I very much believe that, whatever name you call it, the Sacrament of Reconciliation is a gift.

We call it “confession” because confessing our sins is an important part of the Sacrament.  We need to start by confessing our sins to let God forgive us.

We call it “penance” because we accept a penance to do as a sign that we are contrite, meaning we are sorry for our sins.

We call it “reconciliation” because our venial sins have hurt our relationship with God and our mortal sins break our relationship with God but through this sacrament God reconciles us, meaning his fixes what we broke.

Today we have six of God’s precious children who will be making their First Penance.  I imagine some of them may be nervous or scared.  That’s okay.  I bet if I asked the adults here, some of them are probably nervous too.  It can be scary to talk about our sins.  We don’t like to admit when we have done something wrong.

Yet we need to.  In our first reading, Paul writes to the Corinthians about how Jesus rescues us from darkness.  The “darkness” he is talking about is our sins.  When we have broken God’s commandments we step away from God.  Without God there is darkness.

The good news is that God loves us so much to give us a way out of the darkness.  God loves each and every one of us.  To tell us how much, Jesus tells us the Parable of the Lost Sheep.  He tells us about the shepherd who is taking care of 100 sheep.  One is missing.  He still has 99 but he isn’t happy because one is missing.  So, he goes looking for that one sheep and when he finds it, he rejoices.

When we sin, we can feel like we are lost.  God loves us so much that He will do great things to bring us home.  That’s why God sent Jesus.  Jesus came to save us.  In just a couple of weeks we will celebrate Christmas.  This is the day that Jesus was born for us.  Jesus came to rescue us from our sins.

God doesn’t like it when we sin but God is so happy when we come to confess our sins and say that we are sorry.

Think of it this way.  Have you had a good friend do something that hurt you or made you feel bad?  Next ask yourselves how much better you feel if your friend comes to you and tells you they are sorry.

Did you forgive them?

Jesus does.  First, we tell Jesus what it is that we have done.  Then, we accept a penance, and make our Act of Contrition to say how sorry we are.  Then the priest will say the words of absolution as God forgives us.

One of things we should before going to the Sacrament of Reconciliation is an Examination of Conscience.  This invites us to think about what we need to confess.  Some sins may come readily to mind.  Others may not come so readily to mind.  The Examination of Conscience guides us to remember our forgotten sins and make a good confession.  You can find an Examination of Conscience I wrote (with the help of some others) online along with some videos and other materials I wrote at http://www.renewaloffaith.org/reconciliation.html.

Peace,

Fr. Jeff

2nd Sunday of Advent, Year A – Homily

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2nd Sunday in Advent, Year A
Isaiah 11:1-10
Psalm 72:1-2, 7-8, 12-13, 17
Romans 15:4-9
Matthew 3:1-12
December 4, 2016

Christmas is now just three weeks away.  So, our gospel readings shift from the Second Coming to the time just before the birth of Jesus.  That puts us right at the peak of the ministry of John the Baptist.

John the Baptist came as a prophet (symbolized by the clothing made of camel’s hair and the leather belt he wore).  He came with a very specific message, “repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”  He knew that Jesus who is mightier than he, was about to come.  He knew the people were not ready and so he sought to lead them to repentance to help them be ready.

With Christmas coming, how much are you doing to get ready for your Christmas celebrations?

Do you have shopping to do?  Have you even started?

Do you have decorating to do?  In our church, our nativity scene is up outside but we wait for Christmas itself to decorate inside.  When we you do your decorating?

How about the food?  How much thought have you given to the food that you will cook?

In order to prepare properly, we need to think about what it is we seek.  So think about what the perfect Christmas would look like.

For me, it is simple.  I just want a beautiful Christmas Mass in church.  No gifts and not a lot of parties.  There is nothing wrong with gifts and parties.  I just know that where I experience the really meaning of Christmas is being at church (which is a good thing because I will spend a lot of time in church for Christmas.

Gifts are good but I have everything I need or want.  If you want to give me a gift, give something to charity (I suggest the CMA).  I like quiet so I’m not a party person.

What helps you remember what the real meaning of Christmas is?

Christmas is all about the coming of Jesus.  However, Jesus did not simply come once and forgot us?  Jesus will come again at the End.  But we don’t have to wait till the End.  Jesus wants to be part of our lives every day.

Many of the Pharisees and Sadducees were coming to John the Baptist to be baptized for the repentance of sins.  John tells them it is not enough to claim Abraham as their ancestor.  John baptizes only with water for the forgiveness of sins.  He knows that Jesus will come mightier than he and that Jesus’ baptism will include the Holy Spirit and fire.

Jesus comes to change our lives through the Holy Spirit who gives us the gifts of knowledge, wisdom, understanding, strength, counsel, and fear of the Lord.

Jesus comes to set us on fire with faith.  So getting ready for Jesus coming into our lives means getting ready for something different than what we are used to.

Our psalm says “Justice shall flourish in his time, and fullness of peace forever.”  Are we ready for justice?  Justice is not defined by what we want.  Justice means the world is as God calls it to be.

Are you ready to embrace peace?  This doesn’t just mean no more war.  It isn’t just an end to violence such as terrorism.  Peace means letting go of what has hurt us.  Peace means forgiving those who have wronged us.  Peace means loving others.  Peace means letting go of material things and focusing on compassion and mercy.  When we do this we let Jesus come into our hearts.

To live with Jesus we might need to change our perspective on life.  For instance, when you meet somebody, what is the first thing you notice?  How much do you rely on their appearance?  Jesus doesn’t focus on their external appearance.  How much do you go by “hearsay” about the person?  Jesus looks into their hearts.

Long before Jesus came, the Prophet Isaiah was already speaking about how we need to change our perspective.  We live thinking the wolf and the lamb, the leopard and the kid, the calf and the young lion, must all be enemies but Isaiah says that will change.

So I invite you to ask yourselves:

  • How much time do you spend getting ready for Christmas celebrations?
  • How much time do you spend thinking about Jesus’ birth and what it means for us?
  • You can do both. Will you?

Christmas is Coming

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I just sent out a letter to all our parishioners at St. Michael’s with our Christmas Mass schedule.  In what follows, I share with you the first part of the letter for your reflection as we prepare for Christmas.

We are entering into both a very holy time of the year and a very busy time.  It is holy because, as the angel said to the shepherds in Luke 2:11, “For today in the city of David a savior has been born for you who is Messiah and Lord.”

The birth of Jesus is a very special time for us because Jesus is born to save us from our sins.  We look at a manger scene and see something very special, Jesus, the Son of God, as a baby.  While Jesus is consubstantial with the Father, He became human, born like us, to save us.

People celebrate Christmas in many ways, with the exchange of gifts, sharing meals, and decorating.  All of these make for a very busy time of year.  It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness and forget what it is really about.  A few years ago I received a link to a video of the song “Where’s the Line to See Jesus” by Becky Kelley.  Every year, I view this video at least a couple of times.  To be honest, I’ve played it three times while writing this letter and I have tears in my eyes.  You can watch the video online at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OExXItDyWEY or just search the title.

 

Peace,

Fr. Jeff

1st Sunday of Advent, Year A – Homily

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1st Sunday in Advent, Year A
Isaiah 2:1-5
Psalm 122:1-2, 3-4, 4-5, 6-7, 8-9
Romans 13:11-14
Matthew 24:37-44
November 27, 2016

It should be apparent that the seasons are changing.  Outside it is evident from the snow we got this past week that winter is coming.  This is not the season change I want to talk about today.

We just celebrated Thanksgiving.  For many, this means travel and a big Thanksgiving meal.  While Thanksgiving often happens just before the season change that I want to talk about, they are unrelated.

If you have been shopping lately you’ve seen the Christmas stuff out or maybe you’ve seen some street decorations going up pointing to Christmas.

Christmas is not the season I want to focus on today.

Christmas starts on December 25th.  However, Christmas, as the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ, is too important to celebrate for just a single day.  So, we have a whole season.  If you go by what you see in the stores you might think the Christmas season has started.  However, for us Christmas does not start until December 25th.  From then, it will continue through Epiphany and ends when we celebrate the Baptism of the Lord.

However, Christmas is so important that we don’t have just one season associated with it, we have two, Christmas and Advent.

Advent is wheat what we begin today.  Advent is about getting ready for Jesus.  No matter what day of the week Christmas falls on, there are always four Sundays of Advent.  This means, Advent normally starts around Thanksgiving but not always.

As we get closer to Christmas, our Advent readings will focus on the first coming of Jesus, recalling the time leading up to the birth of Jesus.  We are not there yet.

As we begin Advent, our readings point towards the Second Coming of Jesus at the end of time.  As we approached the end of the last liturgical year, we heard from Luke’s Gospel about the End Times.  As we start the new liturgical year in our church, we hear from Matthew’s Gospel (as we will for most Sundays of the coming year) about the End Times.

Sometimes we don’t want to hear about the End Times because we fear the judgment that comes.  As I said a couple of weeks ago, it doesn’t matter when the Second Coming will happen for if we follow Jesus always, we will have nothing to fear.

However, the reality is that we are not always ready.  At times we sin.  There is always confessions on Saturday.  If you read the bulletin, you will find out about some extra times during Advent when I will be in church for confessions.

That being said, there is another way to look at the Second Coming.  Instead of focusing on the judgment that comes at the end, I believe we need to turn our attention to what comes after the judgment.

After judgment, all who strive to follow Jesus are welcomed into the Kingdom of Heaven.  When writing to the Romans about the End, Paul says, “For our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed.”  He does not say our condemnation is nearer but our salvation.

Paul takes a positive approach.  What is a better motivator for you?  To think about the negative consequences of our bad actions or to focus on the positive rewards of our good actions.

Think about it this way.  How many children (and adults) work extra hard to be good as Christmas gets closer?  Why?  They try to be good so they will get lots of presents.  The presents are seen as something good, something to aspire towards.

The negative motivates us through fear.  The positive motivates us through hope.  What greater present can we receive than to receive salvation and spend eternity in Heaven?

We know we need to be good to get presents.  Ultimately, the giving of presents is meant to be an act of love.

If we focus on hope, then we move ourselves to trust in God’s love.  We see God’s love revealed to us when we see Jesus.  In Jesus we see hope.

Why We NEED Thanksgiving

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Today we celebrate a national holiday.  There should be no surprise there as we have several national holidays.  Most of them get us a day off from work or school.  How much do we really do anything to celebrate some of these holidays?  Do you really do anything to celebrate Columbus’ Day?  How about Presidents’ Day?

As a Church we don’t do anything to celebrate these two holidays.  However, there are others we do celebrate.  Labor Day is a national holiday but as people of faith we are called to recognize the good work that we do through the gifts that God gives us.

Today is another national holiday that we should celebrate.  Today is Thanksgiving.  What are you thankful for?  Are you thankful for your car, for a home, or a place to live?  Going a little deeper are you thankful for getting an education?  Are you thankful for your job?  Are you thankful for your family and friends?  Are you thankful for your freedom?

The thought of our “freedom” should lead us back to the story of what we consider the first Thanksgiving.  The Pilgrims arrived at Plymouth in Massachusetts in the Fall of 1620.  They had made the long and difficult voyage across the ocean.  They arrived here in the Fall so nothing could be planted until spring.  Arriving in a northern climate food was scarce at this time of year.  So, even though they had completed the long ocean voyage, life remained very difficult.

They were blessed with help from the local Native Americans.  They helped them find food and plant the spring crop.  Then that Fall, they gathered to give thanks.  They knew they had much to be thankful for.  For basic survival, for food, for shelter, for their new Native American friends, and for the harvest.

There was something else they knew they should be thankful for, freedom.  Do you remember why the pilgrims came to America?  They were Puritans and had not been allowed to freely practice their faith.  So, they made the decision to come to America for religious freedom.  They were thankful for the opportunity to freely practice their faith.

Four hundred years later, the struggle for religious freedom is taking a new face but the bottom line is, while it can be difficult to publicly talk about and live out our faith, we are free to worship as we please.  For this we need to be thankful because even today there are people in the world that are not allowed to practice their Christian faith.

So, what am I thankful for?  Of course, there are the basics, food, clothing, a home to live in, and a good car.  Going beyond these earthly basics, I am thankful for life itself.  I see life as a gift.  Life comes with challenges but in life we come to know God’s love.

I am thankful for the gift of faith.  I am thankful that God has chosen to reveal himself to us through the Bible and in nature.  I am thankful for the example of the martyrs who showed us that our faith is important enough to die for.

I am thankful for the Eucharist.  The very word “Eucharist” means “thanksgiving.”  I am thankful that Jesus gives us his Body and Blood to strengthen us.  I am thankful that Jesus died on the Cross so that our sins can be forgiven.

I am thankful for our parish.  I have only been here five months but I have felt very welcomed and appreciated here.

I am thankful that I grew up without having a lot.  This might seem odd but I am thankful for not growing up with a lot because I know I can have joy in my life without having a lot of things.  When we want a lot of things, there is always more to have and so we might feel lacking.  When we let go of the things, we can realize that it is faith in God that we can find what truly makes us whole.

I said before that Thanksgiving is a holiday we should celebrate.  I would like to change that.  Thanksgiving is a holiday that we need to celebrate.  We need to recognize that God has given us much to be thankful for.  We need to express our thanks to God.  We need to let “thanksgiving” be not just something we do, but something that is part of us.  When we live with an “attitude of gratitude” we recognize how much we do have instead of what we don’t have.

What are you thankful for?

Peace,

Fr. Jeff

Responding to a Question About Intimacy in Marriage

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Recently I received the following question, “How does a Catholic man survive in a sexless marriage? I love my wife very much.”  This can be a very challenging situation.  I commend the man for asking this because it tells me he loves his wife and his faith.

It is not too hard to find out what the Church says (see the list below) about fidelity in marriage.  The Church also talks about how sexual relations outside marriage are violations of the Sixth Commandment against adultery.  Marriage is meant to be a loving act of intimacy expressed by a man and woman united in the Sacrament of Marriage.

I suspect the man who asked this question is aware of the Church teaching about sex and marriage or he would not have asked the question.  I’m glad to see both his wife and his faith is important to him.

I think the heart of the matter here lies in an understanding of the question of what is “chastity” and what might seem like natural biological desires.  I will start with the natural biological urges first.  Our desire for sexual intimacy is indeed natural.  Sexual intimacy serves the same two purposes as marriage.  Marriage is for the unity of a man and woman and for procreation.  It is natural and necessary for us to desire to procreate.  By necessary, I mean if no man and woman bore children, the human race would cease to exist when all the current living people died.  Sex within marriage is meant to be an expression of the man and woman coming together in loving intimacy.  When done for intimacy within a valid marriage, sexual activity is a good thing.

The problem is that many people today see a third purpose for sex and they put this purpose at the top, physical pleasure.  When something brings us physical pleasure, we can be very motivated towards it and see it as a good.  Yet, if sexual activity becomes centered on the physical pleasure, it misses its true purpose, intimacy.  When we seek sexual activity with others simply for physical pleasure, we are treating the other person as an object to bring us this pleasure.  This misses of the dignity of that person.  I will add here that if this is the way you feel about the other person, that they are simply a means to a pleasure, how likely is it that they feel the same way about you, that you are just an object for their pleasure (that would mean you don’t matter to them).

Here I also want to clarify something.  I have using the phrase “sexual activity” more than “sexual intimacy.”  This is deliberate.  “Sexual activity” should always be “sexual intimacy” but when it is used with the physical pleasure as the goal, it is not intimacy and it falls short of God’s intended purpose for the act.

Going back to the man’s question, “How does a Catholic man survive in a sexless marriage?,” if a person sees physical pleasure as the goal of sexual activity and that is good, then masturbation may seem to be a valid solution here.  I suspect here that this man is already aware that the Catholic Church sees masturbation as bad because it centers on the physical pleasure rather than the purpose of two people coming together as a loving husband and wife.

What about “chastity”?  See in an overly simplistic sense, “chastity” has sometimes focuses only on the time before marriage and once one is married, “sex” becomes okay and chastity is no longer a question.  Chastity is not just a prohibition against sexual activity before marriage.  Every person is called to be “chaste” their entire life.  That does not mean that married people aren’t supposed to have sex.  To be chaste in the proper sense is to look at the person with love and compassion, to see them as a gift from God for who they are, not the physical pleasure they can be.  I believe the man knows this and strives to live this out when he said, “I love my wife very much.”

So what is one to do in a sexless marriage?  I am going to make one assumption here.  Generally, when someone asks this question, the person is in a marriage where they once were sexually intimate with their spouse but no longer are because of medical issues or some people “lose interest” in sexual intimacy as they grow older.  It does also happen that someone simply does not feel “good” about sexual activity at any point in their lives.  This might be because of physical issues (here it might be possible to see a doctor who sees sexual intimacy as a loving act and address medical issues with ethical treatments), emotional issues, or sexual abuse.  In any of these situations, the spouse who (still) desires sexual intimacy must first always focus their thoughts on their love for their spouse as a person gifted with life from God.

What can a person do with his or her own desires for physical intimacy?  First, in a world full of images on TV, Internet, and even billboards that say sex is okay, we need to ask God for the strength to turn away from those images that can intensify our physical desires.  We need to change the “channel”.  Here one might ask for the intercession of St. Maria Goretti who died rather than allow herself to be raped or perhaps St. Augustine who knew what it was like to struggle to be chaste.

Secondly, to understand that intimacy is much more than just “sex.”  Find ways to be close to your spouse without physical sex.  What do you enjoy doing with your spouse?  What does your spouse enjoy doing with you?  What brings you closer together?  What makes you feel “whole”?  That is real intimacy.

I do not expect this to fully answer the man’s question.  For others, it may raise more questions than it answers.  I hope it is a start.  You can feel free to ask more questions.

Peace,

Fr. Jeff

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