Welcome to Renewal of Faith

This chronicles my life until I began studies for the priesthood.

My parents married in November 1968. It was the first marriage for my father and the second for my mother. I do not know much about my mother’s first marriage. During her first marriage, she had a son, Tom. When she married my dad, he legally adopted Tom. Then, I was born August 10, 1969. I also have a younger brother who was born in 1972.

My mother’s family is Catholic while my father’s is Baptist. I was raised Catholic and attended public school. Until my parents divorced, when I was about ten-years-old, we lived in Horseheads, New York where we attended St. Mary Our Mother Church. I received First Communion there.

When our parents first separated, my brothers and I lived with our mother at our maternal grandmother’s house in Addison, New York. About a year after the separation, our mother moved to Cameron, New York. Meanwhile, my dad had moved to Watkins Glen where his family lived. When the custody suit was finally settled my younger brother went to live with my dad. After moving to Cameron, New York, my mother, my older brother, and I never attended Mass regularly, partially since the church was 15-20 miles away. I think this was more an excuse than a reason but our mother did get us to Sunday school enough so we were both confirmed in 1981 at St. Catherine’s in Addison, New York where we had been going since my parents first separated.

After that time I never attended Mass until January 1998 except for the funeral Mass for my grandmother and one Sunday Mass where the Mass intention was for her. During this time period there were other Baptist funerals and weddings on my father’s side of the family that I went to.

I graduated from high school in 1987. During high school I was not going to church. I was a member of the High School Library Club all through high school. I helped in the library because I enjoyed being able to help out on a volunteer basis.

In the fall of 1987, I started at Alfred University as a Ceramic Engineering Student. I chose engineering because I have always loved math and science. In 1991, I graduated with a B. S. in Ceramic Engineering. While attending Alfred University, I continued not going to church. As an engineering major I was only required to take 24 credits in Humanities. Since I was not going to church and I hated the thought of philosophy, I took one Introduction to World Religions class to fulfill a requirement and no philosophy classes. I spent two of my summers working for the New York State Department of Transportation (D.O.T.) performing engineering inspection work on highway construction projects.

After graduation in May 1991 till April 1992 I was unemployed. I returned to living with my mother for a couple of months but then went to live with my dad where I spent the next four years until 1995 when I brought my own house in Montour Falls, New York. I lived there up until moving to Becket Hall.

From April 1992 to December 1992 I worked for a temporary agency at Corning, Inc. I was then laid off. So in April of 1993, I went back to work for the Department of Transportation At the Department of Transportation, I spent five years working in the field during engineering inspection. I spent the last two years doing highway design work before resigning to come to Becket Hall to begin my studies.

I have always valued my privacy and liked living alone. As I look back I think I enjoyed the privacy but I also enjoyed not having other people to worry about. I am the type of person who worries about others around me even if I am not responsible for them.

By the fall of 1997 I felt an emptiness, but did not know what it was. I began wondering about my place in life. Dating and marriage had never interested me much. In dealing with this emptiness I did question it some. It just did not seem like the answer. At the time, I was also dealing with a very difficult supervisor at work. Since high school I had done no volunteering, so I decided to give that a try to find a purpose in life again. I was feeling as if I had a lost a sense of purpose in life. So I signed up for Literacy Volunteers. As time went on I did not get what I was looking for out of the tutoring experience, but it was beneficial in the sense that it showed I wanted to be doing something to make a difference.

Back to the emptiness in the fall of 1997. Even though it was fall and all the new shows were coming on TV (I was a big TV watcher then) I could not find any shows I liked. So I did a lot of channel surfing. I started watching EWTN and eventually came across the local Mass from Watkins Glen on the public cable access channel. The more I watched the religious programs, the more I liked what I was seeing. Sometimes, I thought about going to church but did not. Then on January 1, 1998, the Solemnity of Mary, I was watching Life on the Rock on EWTN and decided it was time I tried going to church. I even cried some at this point. This was on Thursday night. On Friday night EWTN had their program, Journey Home, about people returning to or joining the Catholic Church. Remember that I had just made up my mind to go to Church the night before. This particular night they were talking about Catholics who had not gone to church returning to Mass and were taking questions via phone or email live. So I sent them an email asking what I should do because I was about to go to Church for the first time in 15 years. They said I should call the priest and talk to him about the local church. I thought “Are they nuts? I do not even know if I will go more than once or twice and quit or what.” But the thought stuck in my head and on Saturday before I went to a single Mass I called the Rectory Office and set up an appointment with Father Dave Bonin on Tuesday. That Sunday I went to Mass and enjoyed it. When I met with Father Dave on Tuesday we talked for a while and he said he would send me information to register as a parishioner. I attended the Sunday Masses still not knowing how long it would last. I also went on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday also. As I listened to Fr. Dave’s Homilies, I could see pieces of my own life that needed some work in what he said. I enjoyed the church enough that I went from not going to church at all to every week.

I did not go anytime else or volunteer until a member of the staff called and asked if I would be willing to help Sister Cate move. This was about six months after my return to church. I was the first to arrive so I had a chance to talk with Sister Cate and introduce myself. Just talking with Sister Cate made me feel good. They were figuring it would take at least 2 nights and Saturday to get Sister Cate moved. Seven or eight guys showed and about the same number of women. Sister Cate had almost everything packed. We got all the furniture and boxes that were packed moved in three hours. We even got her bed put together and the women made it for her. Sister was very happy to see that, saying she figured she was going to have to sleep in her sleeping bag for a couple of nights. This all helped show me the strength of the local church. After Sister Cate was all settled in she had a small open house party for those who helped. When I went down I figured I would stay maybe a half-hour because I am the type of person who likes the peace and quiet of home. However, I enjoyed being with Sister Cate and the others so much I stayed for three hours. I was beginning to see myself a little more social than I thought. I had always liked the peace and quiet of living alone.

Now that we had met, Sister Cate and I would chat before Sunday Mass. In late August/early September she asked me about joining the Parish Lenten Mission Team. She sent me some information but I declined not seeing how I could help since I had never been to Mission. I told her that I would help with the physical work at Mission Time. At this same time she said Father Dave was sending out invitation letters to the R & R retreat and she had suggested my name. By this time I was beginning to feel a small emptiness again. Going to church had filled the large emptiness from last fall but something was still missing. So, when I received my invitation I accepted. When I went I was very nervous thinking, was this really for me? But I enjoyed it a great deal and that is when things really started picking up for me. At the end of the retreat I spoke with Sister Cate about volunteering. I told her I did not like getting up in front of people so she suggested that I help count the Sunday Collection and she would have the parish secretary call me.

I started counting and met some wonderful people. Then I served on the committee for the 25th Anniversary of Father Dave's Ordination, and the Parish Millennium Planning Committee. As work progressed on the Millennium Planning the desire for a parish web page grew. I had done a little with web pages, so I volunteered to construct the web page for the parish learning what I needed to know as I went along with some help from others. It seemed the more I did the more I wanted to do. The small emptiness in the fall of 1998 was the desire to serve God and the Parish. God had some beautiful plans for me to fill that emptiness.

During Mission 1999 with Sister Ginny’s, the featured speaker, talks and especially the faith witnesses I began reflecting on my own life. When I reflected back on the prior 14 months since I had started attending St. Mary’s of the Lake, I think how enjoyable it has been. It is at this point in time that I began to write this autobiography. If I had not called Father Dave before I started coming I would not have registered in the Parish or met Father Dave. Maybe I would not have kept coming. When people knew I was there, I felt like I would have a very guilty conscience if I did not keep coming. If I had kept coming without talking to someone I would likely have just come on Sundays and Holy Days. In hindsight, I think it was God who “inspired” me to call the Parish before I started coming, not just somebody on a television show.

On March 12, 1999 Fr. Dave called me to thank me for some material I had sent him, and to ask me to speak to the youth group about the web page, and also to tell me that Sister Cate found out she was going to need surgery for a tumor. This was going to be the first of three surgeries. In my own mind, I was very upset thinking first Fr. Dave with his problems, and now Sr. Cate. How is God letting all this happen? After I got off the phone I had the most intense prayer night I had ever had. I ended up telling God if He would just take care of Fr. Dave and Sr. Cate I would do whatever He wanted of me. Later that night was the first time I had serious and conscious thoughts about a vocation to the priesthood. But I was afraid to say anything to anybody.

Then on April 11, 1999 just after Fr. Dave had another surgery, Fr. John DeSocio, Diocesan Vocations Director, was filling in for him for Sunday Mass. I did not know who he was until Deacon Dan Hurley said during the announcements he was the vocations director and Fr. John said a few words. I was thinking I should talk to him. I kept thinking yes/no/yes/no and when I walked towards the back of the church after Mass he was talking to someone else so I kept right on walking. Then the next day first thing in the morning when I got to work I had some office correspondence on my desk being circulated. I read it and I took it to the next person on the list and we said good morning, etc. He then proceeded to say, “What’s this I hear your leaving the state to become a priest?” I was dumbfounded. I had not said anything to anyone! Finally, after standing there in silence for a few moments, I asked him who told him this. He replied no one – he just had a dream about it the night before. He then told me not to worry it was just a dream, but that he really did think I should think about it. Later that same day another fellow in the office asked me to come over to his desk. He then told me he thought I should think about becoming a priest. I began to think that I really needed to talk to some one about this. The following Friday and Saturday nights I stayed with Fr. Dave to help him after his surgery. Friday night, I was pretty quiet but Saturday night I finally got up the nerve to tell him. I did so by telling him about the guy at work who had the dream about me. When I finished the story he asked me if I had ever thought about becoming a priest. I thought to myself, “Of course, or I would never mention this to anyone.” We talked for a while about it. After a couple of weeks of talking to Fr. Dave about it, I finally told Sr. Cate and some others who all thought it was a wonderful idea.

On June 1, 1999 I met with Fr. John DeSocio to discuss the call to priesthood. He told me in general terms how the discernment process works. Under his advisement I took an Introduction to Philosophy course at a local college and really enjoyed it.

As part of my discernment prior to coming to Becket Hall, I became involved in other ministries. The two primary ones being lectoring and Lay Presider (to which I was certified). Both of these started as I means of evaluating my call versus my long-term fear of public speaking. With Fr. Dave’s eyesight problems being a certified Lay Presider meant I was part of a group who assisted him with the readings and prayers at Masses, Weddings, Penance/Prayer Services and Funerals. In Watkins Glen, the people in the Lay Presider group also take turns leading a Liturgy of the Hours/Communion Service on Saturday mornings. With Fr. Dave’s eyesight problems I also on two or three occasions took him to visit the sick. All of these ministries were very valuable in discerning my call to priesthood. Some of my fears have been about being able to visit the sick or do a funeral without breaking down emotionally and these opportunities helped me come to terms with that fear.

My fear of public speaking has also been alleviated. I find that God always gives me the strength to proclaim His Word as He wants. The best example of this is the first time I was Lector. It was on Ascension Thursday 1999. I had to work during the day so I went to our sister parish, St. Benedict’s in Odessa, for the evening Mass. When I arrived I went into the Sacristy to let Fr. Dave know I was there because I was giving him a ride home. At this point in time I had not been trained to Lector, yet, but had signed up for it. There were three people in the church ten minutes before the Mass was supposed to start. So Fr. Dave said to me, “How do you feel about baptism under fire?” He was referring to the need for a Lector. So I nervously told him I could do it. So Sr. Cate showed me where to find the Lectionary and Prayers of the Faithful. I have a very strong voice when I use it, but because of the fear of public speaking I normally come across weak. When I started to read the first reading my voice was at full strength and I felt a presence and knew I was not up there alone. The Spirit was there for me. I wish I could feel the presence I felt then all the time for it probably was one of the most incredible experiences of my life.

In August 2000 I moved to Becket Hall, the pre-theology house for the Diocese of Rochester. You can read about my life in the seminary by clicking here and my life as a priest here.

This page last updated on August 28, 2011